I am a happy and proud Mom of two. I am absolutely in love with motherhood. Whenever I find out that one of my friends are pregnant for the first time I immediately get this feeling of excitement for them. I don’t know any stronger feeling than the love you have for your own children.
In my last post I very briefly told my story about how I got to where I am now, but I totally skipped right past a very important part of my life with the sentence “Fast forward ten years and two babies.” It’s so funny, I have been wanting to write about motherhood and how it can sometime take ahold of a woman entirely whether they planned it that way or it just happens. It can happen so quickly you don’t even realize it until you write the sentence, fast forward ten years and two babies and your like holy crap, how did that just happen! Literal mommy coma! Wake up, morning routine, feed kids, clean up after kids, feed kids, entertain kids, clean up a spill, feed kids, bedtime routine, sleep, repeat. Then they are school age and you add drop kids off at school, pick up kids, to the mix.
I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with Vivien, now 7.9 years old, it was very unexpected. I was finishing up school for interior design, dabbling in acting, and I loved to write. As the months went on and I got more and more pregnant and more and more tired, I slowly started to veer from my intentions and career goals. It was June of 2010 when my sweet Vivien was born. I spent the whole summer being a new mom. It was my full time job. As a lot of moms know, those first several months can be rough and consume you entirely. Since Viv was my first, I wanted to be there every second for her. I didn’t want to miss a thing. As Viv hit the one year mark, life got a lot easier, I slowly started taking on interior design clients. It was tough juggling work and motherhood especially when the hubs worked full time and for the simple fact that childcare in NYC costs nearly the same as one of us made working all week! Well, as Viv hit 15 months we had another surprise hit us! Baby no. 2! We weren’t ready for another baby at that very moment! I remember getting hit with a minor case of anxiety! A few months into a stressful second pregnancy, I nearly gave up hope of really succeeding as a designer, I had totally thrown out the idea of acting and was writing less and less. I became a full time mom, and it was fine because I didn’t “have” to work.
Fast forward a couple years, there I go again, fast forwarding precious years! Well, something finally clicked! I needed more. I love my children more than life itself, but I wanted to do more. I had all these great ideas before I became a stay at home mom and I pretty much forgot all about them as I fell into the easy life that was motherhood. Now don’t get me wrong, being a stay at home mom is hard work, it can be very satisfying and for a lot of woman is the greatest job in the world. But for me, I lost myself in motherhood. But I was determined to find myself and remember who I was before children and what I wanted out of life. I started taking on clients again, I put myself around other artistic minds, I felt full of life again. I noticed that my want to succeed in life was even stronger because I wasn’t doing it for myself anymore, I was doing it for my family.
I think it is so important to remember who you were before motherhood. And take all that power that comes with being a mother and put it into everything you do.
How many moms out there have forgotten their name? Not literally of course. But do you remember who you were before motherhood? Are you pursuing all those dreams you had before you had children? Motherhood is such a blessing no doubt, but even moms deserve to chase their dreams.
Happiest of Mother’s Day to all you badass moms out there! 😘